Setting: Friday, August 3, 2007 12:15 PM in my laundry room in Orem, UT. I am still unshowered for the day. With a baby in one arm, I am trying to fold the tenth load of laundry for the week when my cell phone rings sharply.
Me (answering the ringing phone): Hello.
Kim: Hi, its me.
Me (smiling thoughtfully): Hey, How are you?
Kim (hurriedly with words running together): Great can you do me a favor? The Internet is down at my work which is a real pain, because I have personal things that need to be done.
Me (walking down the hall to my desk): Okay...
Kim: I need you to buy a plane ticket for me.
Me (thinking there is nothing more in this world that I want than for Kim to move her three children and all her personal belongings to the land of Utah and marry a nice man): Ooooh? Where are you going?
Kim (sarcastically): I'm coming to Utah to see that guy.
Me (giddy with delight and confusion): No way! Really? Are you kidding me? You are kidding me. Oh my gosh are you serious? You aren't serious.
Kim (interrupting with a shot of realism): Of course I'm not serious. I need to buy a plane ticket for _____ -.
In this blank one should place the first real name of Grettir, which I am unable to do because that name is a secret. So lets pretend it is Don.
So now that you are up to speed let's rewind....
Kim (interrupting with a shot of realism): Of course I'm not serious. I need to buy a plane ticket for Don---
S2 (simultaneously speaking in my other ear - the one not super glued to the cell phone): Mom, what's for lunch?
Me (ignoring my hungry child altogether and interrupting a little too soon): Don!? What the heck? Are you kidding me? What is going on? On my gosh! You're not serious.
Kim (slowly and clearly): Debbie. I don't need a ticket for Don. I need one for Don-na. Donna my niece. She's coming to watch my kids next week.
Me (weakly): Oh... (moment of awkward silence) You know S2 was talking and so you cut out. So all I heard was...
Kim (not really caring to hear the story): Uh huh.
Me: That is kinda funny - their names and all, huh?
Kim (annoyed): Sure.
(More silence.)
Me (getting down to business, placing the baby on the floor and double clicking Internet Explorer icon on the computer): Will Donna - emphasis on the feminine. The uh. Will she be flying Delta, or some other airline?
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Can you say one track mind? Obsessive? Compulsive? Fanatical? Fixated? Infatuated? Neurotic? Genetics can be a terrible thing.
ReplyDeleteYou really are SuperWoman. Laundry. Baby. Lunch. Two conversations, one in each ear.
ReplyDeleteCan we (please) have another update ....
What happened next?
Hey, wise guy, er... gal. Don't play us. (chuckle)
ReplyDeleteThis was very cleverly written.
I was thinking, "Why would Kim ask Debbie to buy a plane ticket for a guy she just met?" ha-ha.
Kim,
ReplyDeleteIt is not nice to poke fun and the mentally ill.
David,
ReplyDeleteNo real updates at all. At least as far as I know. Which is why I included this non update.
Chewy,
ReplyDeleteYes, everyone seems that would have been a bit odd and ill-timed. Everyone but me, I guess.
what about a picture? I missed a picture.
ReplyDeleteChristine
She seems to be taking quite an attitude towards you, its lucky your such a nice sibling, she might not have got that ticket.
ReplyDeleteHey girl, been busy lately. Missed ya nad had to swing by. :)
ReplyDelete"nad",lol. What is that?! I don't know how that slipped in there. *shaking her head*
ReplyDeleteHa-ha! I have a friend named Kim that I wished that for forever! She finally settled down and got married last year, and is now pregnant! Woo-hoo!! But not to a church guy, darnit....
ReplyDeleteI have a 15 year old son who lives for Starcraft, and a 13 yo daughter who is such a drama queen... Lol, we have a lot in common, but I admit defeat as you have many more than I!
You are a brave woman my dear, and I like your site :))
Slainte~
Rachelle
Christine,
ReplyDeleteNo pics becuase I could not choose between this or this.
Pope Terry,
ReplyDeleteWhy, yes! I agree. I am the nicest sibling in the world.
Eve,
ReplyDeleteHello long lost! Nad how are you?
Rachelle,
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by! We welcome llama lovers here! Sorry, alpaca adorers didn't have the same ring.