Sunday, May 27, 2007

Showering a Marriage With Love

When DH and I were engaged, as you might expect, we were regular recipients of unsolicited marital advice. Among the golden nuggets of wisdom were, "Never go to bed angry", "Love your spouse more than you love yourself", and "Pray together everyday." Our most surprising bit of advice came from our bishop a week or so before we got married. He told us to "Shower together everyday." After we were married, of course.

The first time DH and I attempted to not go to bed angry, despite a heated disagreement, we stayed up until 2 AM arguing. DH was tired and mad; I was exhausted and stubborn. Finally, we determined that we would have to go to bed angry as we were too tuckered out to scream at each other any more. Actually, I went to bed, and DH wisely slept on the couch.

Over the years (17 to be exact) I have often considered whether or not I love DH more than myself. I'd like to think that I do, but if I have a hundred dollars for new shoes, I'm going for something along the lines of the Dolce Vita Lamont-3 Pump (in black) over another stupid pair of golf shoes every time.

When it comes to things DH and I do together everyday, we are much more consistent with showering than praying. Somehow, this simple piece of advice has served to strengthen our marriage as well as maintain proper hygiene. Though some days, our showering is focused on cleanliness, not all our time in the shower is utilitarian in nature. But I am beginning to wonder if I might be a little too old for this shower sharing.

Mostly because of what happened the other day. We had only been in the shower a minute when my ear ended up horizontal under the shower head. With water rushing in at full force, I quickly averted my ear, shook my head, and with the warbling sound of water frolicking in my head, excused myself from further showering frolic.

Now I still have this bothersome liquid in my right ear. As it is annoying and painful, I'm working on every home remedy I know to get it out. I am not usually one for home remedies, and typically have no aversion to visiting a doctor.

But if I get an infection, and have to go see my primary care physician, I am not looking forward to the line of questioning: "Have you been swimming lately?" "No." "Perhaps boating then?" "No." "Hmmmm..." "All right, all right, DH and I were playing leapfrog in the shower. There. Are ya happy?"


  1. Hilarious, Deborah. I usually depend on you to lift me up when I feel angry or sad (which ain't too often - at least for sad) and you never let me down.
    I have never heard it called "leapfrog", but I like that nomenclature. Hahahaha.

  2. Hi Debbie,

    You have the gift of turning a good story into a really great story. I admire the subtle twists, the humour and the mention of the shoes.

    A terrific headline, too, for a great post – and the image you chose to illustrate it with is just so arresting.

    Your blog has really taken on a new dimension with the images – equally matched to the wonderful writing style.

    And for someone who is normally an impeccable speller, I reckon you put the first D into ``adverted’’ in this post just to see if I was really paying attention to the finer details!

    Congratulations on another week at No.1

    Keep smiling


  3. Hi Debbie,

    Forgot to give you my gran’s remedy for liquid/ foreign bodies in the ear. A few drops of paraffin oil, gently warmed for a few seconds. Test temperature of oil and pour into affected ear.

    Let me know if it works.

    Keep smiling


  4. deb - while I can agree with nearly all points made - especially shower leapfroging - I can't get much beyond calling such an essential clothing item as golf shoes - stupid. I can only guess that you have never tried on a pair! - RKCD

  5. Catmoves,

    Yes, I'll admit that leapfrog is a rather unusual euphemism. But it has some meaning behind it as well. Maybe I'll blog about that someday too.


  6. David,

    Thank you for pointing out the wrongly included 'D'. It has been corrected.

    Haven't tried paraffin oil yet, but it is on my list.

    Ear is still plugged and not doing well.


  7. RKCD-

    Let me explain golf attire for the feet as I see it:

    1st pair of golf shoes: essential? maybe.

    2nd pair of golf shoes: silly.

    3rd pair of golf shoes: excessive.

    4th and more pairs of golf shoes: stupid.

  8. OK - TOO MUCH INFORMATION!! I will never view you and DH the same when you go to take a "shower"

    ~ youngest sister Kim

  9. Kim,

    So sorry to embarrass you. I did warn you on the phone this one was a bit "racy". Remember?

    By the way, D1 heard me say that to you and told one of our friends at a Memorial Day picnic today that she doesn't read her mom's blog because sometimes it is "racist". I am debating whether to explain the word racy and then have her wonder what I writing about, or continue to let her think I'm a bigot. I'm not very comfortable with either option.


  10. Debbie,

    What a beautiful post! I live vicariously through happy marriages, and enjoy reading this from you! Hahahaha.. you are just too funny.

    That advice about not going to bed angry? My mother said the same thing. It did not save my own marriage, but I am still hoping I will find that one person who ahares my dreams and hopes and fears, and will not go to bed angry with me!!

    thanks for making me continue to believe in this!!


  11. We received the same advice about the shower - we are still going strong - despite some real doozies of arguments where we definitely slept on them.

    I love the shoes. I really, really love the shoes. My DH doesn't buy golf shoes, so I'm lucky there. He does, however, love watches.

    I don't think your blog is too racy or racist - you have the blog of a healthy family life, with all the healthy games of leapfrog included - how did DD exist if there was no raciness in your life!! :)

    Another wonderful story.

    PS - did I mention I really like the shoes??? :D

  12. Cecilia,

    I wish you the best in finding someone that makes you happy, but in the meantime, I think you are doing well to not let your marital status define who you are. From the stories on your blog, you obviously have a wonderful family.


  13. Ozlady,

    You have hit the nail on the head. While I can go to bed angry at DH, it is very difficult to stay mad at someone when you are both naked in a shower together.

    The shoes are the best aren't they?? Hopefully DH will get around to reading this and get them in a 7 1/2 for my birthday! Of course, then I need a new dress to wear with them...

    And yes, D1 is only on this earth becuase of a bit of raciness. But then aren't we all?

    Did I mention what incredibly good taste you have in shoes?


  14. Love what kids say!! I'd let it go... but it could spread quickly about how racist you are! I KNOW you warned me - that is what encouraged me to read it so quicly... racy sounded intriguing! Speaking of Memorial Day Picnics... All the women sat around discussing your RACY blog. We all agree that is the most unique advice we have heard of a Bishop giving! But - must not be too unheard of as ozlady got it too!!
    ~youngest sister Kim

  15. Kim,

    Happy to provide a conversation topic for your Memorial Day picnic. Hope it was fun!

  16. seriously?
    My Hoss is NEVER reading this blog. Niether of us would ever make it to work on time.

  17. b.-
    Yep, seriously. Not making it to work on time sounds like a lot of fun to me...


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