Sunday, September 23, 2007

Thou Shalt Have No Other Dogs Before Me

WARNING: EXPLICIT IMAGE


D1 is typically an early riser and more than once has presented us with stunning morning news.

When she was seven she gleefully announced at 5:30 AM on a Saturday that Chewy - the Guinea pig we had been duped into getting for "free" only a week earlier - "Had her babies!"

A few years ago, she was the first to alert us to what would be a weeks long restoration nightmare when she told us the kitchen hardwood floor had turned into a swimming pool overnight thanks to a clog in the kitchen drain.

This morning I realized D1 was up when I heard tearful, soulful moaning about her, "poor dog." Thinking that something awful must have happened to Cookie, I was terrified to hear the news. Choking in between sobs, she presented me with her latest toy that DH purchased for her at a gas station yesterday afternoon.

It used to be small dog in a dog bed. I thought its long hair made it look like a creepy mouse, but to each his own.

Apparently I was not the only one that found the gas station toy repulsive. Sometime in the night our real dog Cookie escaped from the mudroom and tracked down the creepy, mouse-dog, beloved treasure. Using her superior canine sense of smell - that is if you can count obstinate, prissy Shih Tzu's as part of the canine phylum - she embarked on a skillful game of search and destroy.

Cookie was victorious. The creepy mouse-dog never had a chance.

19 comments:

  1. Oh thank the lord that thing isnt alive, cause its freaking me out.

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  2. Oh, my. I didn't know what in the hell that was, until the very end of your story. I thought maybe some actual animal was... I don't know... mutilated somehow. Yuck.

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  3. Pope Terry,

    You think it looks bad now. It looked worse before demolition.

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  4. Suldog,

    It was mutilated. It was an animal. But not a real animal thank goodness!

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  5. Nice camera work. And at least Cookie still has a ``woof'' over her head!

    How's the book going?

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  6. David,

    Very clever. And yes, for now she does have a "woof", but a few more of these stunts, and well, who knows her fate.

    The book is great - I'm trying to email you, but I don't think my emails are getting to you. Is it the bestmacs email? Or can you email me at the link on my blog profile?

    Thanks!

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  7. Nice.

    BTW- I left a video for ya on my blog =)

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  8. Dan,

    Great vid. Very cool, especially since DH is in it. Bet you didn't know that!

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  9. I'm just relieved that it didn't come OUT of your dog. Ewww! I was a bit worried at first.

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  10. Julie,

    It is vile looking isn't it. I don't use those warning signs indiscriminately.

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  11. I was so very afraid of that photo.
    Glad it wasn't real.

    Chewy, the guinea pig? hmmm?

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  12. I know, Chewy! And I didn't even know you then. We aptly named the babies Cheddar and Chipper.

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  13. my inlaws have one of those psuedo puppies and i find it to be creepy. go cookie! way to obliterate the enemy!

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  14. Christine,

    Thank you! David must be rubbing off on me.

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  15. Michal,

    Since you seem ot be such a Cookie fan, perhaps I can interest you in an adoption deal. She comes with a month's supply of stinky food, two bowls, a collar with outdated Orem City tags and a smelly dog bed. She never comes when called, scratches at the outside doors and will play with your kids until the cows come home.

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  16. If that is not excrement wrapped in a dish towel I am the Queen of Romania.

    Please tell me that DH does not purchase ANY of your birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day and Anniversary Gifts at the same gas station.

    Her Royal Highness?
    Queen Crazy Kate of Le monde de fromage de Kate

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  17. Dear Kate AKA Queen of Romania,

    There's nothing fecal about it, Your Royal Highness.

    I swear.

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