Saturday, September 8, 2007

Meanest Mom Ever


Proof that I am the meanest mom in the whole wide world:

Friday 9:33 PM
The home phone rings. DH pauses the DVD for the one hundred fifty-seventh time. I answer the phone noting that the caller id indicates it is the neighbor's house where D2 is having a "late night."
Me: Hello?
D2: Can I stay here until 11?
(Remember she is only 8 years-old!?)
Me: No. We said ten. Remember?
D2: But I want to stay until 11.
Me: Sorry, no. Be home by 10.
D2: 10:30?
Me: How about 9:30?
D2: You ruin everything.
Me: Yes. That's what moms do.

Friday 10:05 PM
I call D1 on the "kids' cell." (Our children have to share a cell phone - they don't each get their own - that is how cruel we are.) We are quickly approaching the birthday party house where she has been for the past three hours.
Me: Hi, sweetie, gather your stuff we are almost there.
D1: But mom I was going to call you when I was ready.
Me: The party ended at ten, so we are coming to get you.
D1: But everyone is still here.
Me: And you won't be - in just a few minutes. Now get ready we're around the corner.

Friday 10:18 PM
D1 is playing a horrible recording of SOS by the Jonas Brothers on the "kids' cell" as we make our way back home from the party. I ask DH to turn on some real music. We listen to John Cougar Mellancamp, John Cougar, Mr. Mellancamp, Mr. Cougar, John Mellencamp, The King of Small Town Rock-n-Roll's Pink Houses at a volume level sufficient to drown out the Jonas Brothers, loud sirens, and my own thoughts until we reach our driveway.

And somehow I am optimistic enough to think my kids will grow up, leave home, and still call me every Mother's Day until at least the year 2049.

27 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you're here to share that title!
    You're hysterical!!

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  2. b.,

    I share that title with all the best moms in the world, including you.

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  3. it all seems perfectly reasonable to me. i finally get why my parents were so mean! keep it up, debbie!
    to whom does the pink house belong?

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  4. Michal,

    No idea whose house that is. It is there because it reminds me of the song Pink Houses.

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  5. I too am tired of the Jonas brothers... My 7 year old loves them ..When I have said please let's listen to something else he says " you don't know good music mom" I guess it could be worse... We all turn into the same mean mom we all had....

    Mandy

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  6. Mandy,

    I am certain you know lots of good music. You need to play it more often. Then you'll have an eight year-old daughter whose favorite artist in Bon Jovi along with Hananh Montana.

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  7. I like this house....Is it Barbie's house or polly pocket's house ?
    Lovely shot

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  8. I'm over Hannah Montana... and wish High School Musical had stayed back in high school! However ours aren't too bad with Cold Play on the musical list.

    You are the meanest mum... positively cruel.

    ROFLMAO

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  9. Château-Gontierdailyphoto,

    To be Barbie's house it would have to be much taller and grander I think. And it could be a Polly Pocket house but it is missing the purple slide off the side. Besides if it were Polly Pocket's house, it would be recalled by now!

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  10. Ozlady,

    Cold Play, huh? Not bad at all. I can handle some of S1's playlist, but even D1's but sometimes toom much of a certain song is too much!

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  11. Hey look! There's one of those "Bend-Over" thingys in the front yard. LOL!

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  12. Oops! I thought this was YesBut's photo caption contest. My Bad.

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  13. Wonderful. I'm on your side (sorry kids).

    And that sensible, no-nonsense approach is precisely why all five kids will love you with every ounce of their souls ....

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  14. Deb,

    I am definitely on your side! You are simply hilarious...

    :)
    Cecilia

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  15. Your kids will love you and call you, don't worry about that. However, they'll continue to like music you hate. That's just the way it goes...

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  16. David,

    Is that why D2 leaves me notes that say "I hat you I hat you"? Becuase she really loves me soooo much?

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  17. Phase Out,

    It is always good to ahve someone on my side. Usually I am outnumbered 5 to 1. And when DH is misbehaving, even 6 to 1.

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  18. Suldog,

    Hate their music? More like loathe or detest, but I guess you coudl say hate.

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  19. Way to go Deb! You're awesome. I knew someone who said he had the "meanest mom ever". He grew up to be an amazing person who dearly loves him mother because she was the "meanest" =)

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  20. I think that D2 just would like to give you some cool headgear. Ha?

    Seriously - they say you aren't a REAL Mom - a good Mom - until a child tells you that they hate you (because you're doing something for their own good). I think it's gratifying that there are still parents out there actually bothering to set limits.

    It does make me feel very guilty about all the guff I gave my Mom. I have two brothers and two sisters, so we were a "party of five" like yours (except all the girls were first). And oddly enough, my Mom became more and more Zen with each passing year.

    Speaking of parties of five, check out my cousin, Laura. Five kids, FOUR of them five years old and under (three adoptions within the past three years from the same birth mother - a calculated insanity). I'm amazed how she and her husband are hanging in there.

    Kitten Children are a little more low maintenance...
    Crazy Kate of Le monde de fromage de Kate

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  21. "Dare to discipline". (Or a book by the same title)

    Papa (Michals father-in-law)

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  22. I love it. I always remind my kids that they have friends, I'm their mother.

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  23. Kate,

    Trust me, D2's motives were not that altruistic.

    Thanks for the link to a new blog!

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  24. Wendy Sue,
    Sounds like a book title to me!

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