Friday, October 26, 2007

Trash Talkin'

Marjory the Trash Heap

Wednesday afternoon D2 came home from her walk to Allens (think store-where-you-take -all-your-money-from-your-allowance-to buy-candy-and-dollar-toys). On my freshly washed kitchen counter she started to unload her treasures from the shopping spree. First she pulled out a couple foot long Tootsie Rolls, next came a Butterfinger bar, followed by a plastic package of fake money.

I was surprised to notice the plastic grocery sack was still not even close to empty. But not nearly surprised as I was to see what came out next: a flatten soda can, a piece of paper with tire marks, a balled up wad of wrapper, and a myriad of smaller pieces of litter. I stood in amazement at her collection, spread across my once clean kitchen counter. Before I could compliment her on picking up so much trash along her way home, she looked up at me and explained,

"My teacher says littering is the baddest thing you can do."

"The baddest?" I doubted, ignoring her grammar.


"What about stealing? What does your teacher say about the Enron executives?" I asked.

"My teacher says littering makes our world ugly," she replied, completely ignoring my inquiry.

"And murder? How wrong does you teacher believe it is to take another life?"

"No one should ever litter. It's really bad."

"Perhaps the real questions is what is your teacher's opinion on the death penalty. Have you ever discussed capital punishment?" I questioned.

"Littering is the baddest thing you can do," she repeated, "We should never do it."

While D2's teacher seems to be a fine person, I'll be terrified if this woman ever becomes a Supreme Court Judge or heaven forbid a member of the legislature.

'Cause if I'm sent to the gallows for a receipt blowing out my car window...I'm gonna be ticked!


  1. Thanks for the laugh, Deborah. Very funny.

  2. Wow, she really sticks to her guns doesnt she.

  3. Marjory is SOOOO my new BFF.

    As for D2, I would like to take her off your hands. You already have all those other ones, you know....

    Kitten Children are Great,
    But they LITTER (literally - THEY HAVE LITTER),
    Crazy Kate of Le monde de fromage de Kate

  4. you and d2's teacher in another power struggle? :)

  5. Dan,

    That laugh sounds a bit sinister.

  6. Pope,

    My children know that they only have a limited time to talk to me before another child will inevitably enter the room to interrupt. I think she was being efficient with her time with me.

  7. Kate,

    Majory is your BFF and you ar emy BFF so... I guess that'll have to work.

    I'm not ready to give D2 up, but if she follows D1's footsteps, I can almost assure you I'll change my mind when D2 is 12.

    If not, the opportunity to pay for her college education is still unspoken for.

  8. Don't worry, Marjory is just my Best TRASH Friend Forever. You are a people, so that doesn't affect your status as my bestest BFF.

    I didn't feel like saying "person." No reason.

    Marjory's TRASH BFF,
    Crazy Trashy Kate of Le monde de fromage de Kate

  9. G'day Debbie,

    So is todat a red-litter day? Sorry, I couldn't resist that.

    Does that make me the ``baddest'' commentator?

    Yes, love the post title too - and the picture.

    The novel's over (kicks up heels) and I'm back in blogland!!

    Keep smiling


  10. lol deborah..they are easily influenced by people of authority...she's made this world a 'that much better place..'


  11. Tee hee!

    My darling daughter has a crush on a guy whose name is--and I'm not kidding--Leroy Brown. If that aint' the baddest!

  12. Since New Mexico already has a death penalty on the books, I'm going to work to keep faith with D2's teacher and see if the state will agree to adding littering to the list of capital crimes.


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