Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Got Milk? Nope? How 'Bout Laundry?

You've seen the posters pasted to the sides of buses, mounted on the walls of school lunchrooms, or featured on the back covers of magazines. They highlight an unbelievably famous and beautiful person with a milk mustache. On the latest ads, the headline reads something like, "Country by Carrie. Body by Milk." So even though I've seen these ads a few hundred times before, today I stopped to dream. I pictured me up on one of those posters. And I wondered, "What would my one word be?" My one word like Carrie's "Country."

Have I mentioned what an incredible dancer I am? I've been compared to some pretty famous people including Elaine from Seinfeld. But Beyonce Knowles already took "Moves." So I spent a fair amount of time reviewing my other talents and crossing off those already taken by the hot milk-bodied stars.

I thought about what I do best, what I do everyday, and what I do more than anyone else. Do you know what I came up with? Laundry. In case you don't run in my circles, among my people (which includes DH, S1, D1, S2, D2, and D3) it is what I am most famous for. If D1 wants a dress washed for a special occasion, does she take it to her dad or her brother? Nope. To me. She brings it straight to me. Or at least throws it generally in my direction, mumbling something about its state of cleanliness, or lack thereof, and a deadline. If S2 can't find a pair of matching socks, does he search the sock basket or his top drawer? Nope again. He comes to me. Often with a whine and look of disgust, but nevertheless, I am the first and last, actually I am the only contact for laundry. Making me undeniably famous for laundry.

I came up with "Laundry" only after souful deliberation. I seriously considered other talents of mine, and a close second was my superior athletic ability. Let me just say, I didn't play third string on the Jr. High JV volleyball team at a 1A school because of my looks. But ARod's already got his "Blast." Actually, he's got quite a hunky milk body too.

Which I guess brings me back to the reality that despite my fame for laundry, my body would never qualify me for one of those milk ad campaigns. "And why is that?" you ask. Well, if I had to pick just one food item (and there are many every day to pick from, which is another part of the problem), I'd have to confess, mine is a Body by Cookies. Apparently, bodies made by cookies don't look quite as good as bodies made by milk. Even when you dip the cookies in the milk, somehow it just isn't the same.

But if my Body by Cookies looked as good as a Body by Milk, then my poster would read, "Laundry by Debbie. Body by Cookies." Can you picture it? I like it. It's me.


  1. Posted before nine a.m.? Wasn’t it that early, on our respective driveways, when you asked me (already dressed for the day and with D3 on your hip – as I peeled my eyes open, searching for my morning paper,) “Have you seen Cookie?”

    I know I mumbled something about hearing Cookie but not seeing Cookie and wondered to myself…how do you function, clearly having already accomplished many Herculean tasks – like showering and dressing and apparently blogging, so early in the morning –especially on DH’s birthday?

    Power on!


  2. L**ndry is a four letter word but cookies are divine. :)

  3. nice first two entries in this blog!
    Thanks for visiting mine.

  4. rkcd,
    While one would think the disheveled hair, and drawstring pants would have been obvious, I feel the need to come clean and confess that I was still wearing my p.j.'s when, on our respective driveways we had our thought-provoking conversation. Have you considered scheduling an appointment with your optometrist?

  5. Leon,
    My grammy's Blue Ribbon Cornflake Cookies are the most divine of all. But alas I am dieting so now I indulge in Marilu Henner's sugar and dairy-free morsels with grain sweetened chocolate chips. Oh how I wish I were kidding.

  6. I hope you'll be sharing that blue ribbon recipe of grammy's in a future post. I thought I'd play along with the milk game...mine is, "Clutter by Abi. Body by Pasta." Clutter is what I excel at. I'd love to claim laundry, but I have to be out of underwear before I voluntarily do it.

  7. Mompreneur,
    Is that pasta with marinara sauce (my favorite) or alfredo (DH's favorite) or fancy shaped pasta served plain with butter (S1-D3's favorite)?

  8. Hey Deborah...

    Thanks so much for your visit! I'm something of a laundry freak myself. I perversely love ironing as well.

    I'll probably get around to a cookie FPF eventually. I do have an old post in the archives about a family recipe with the recipe...not a dunkable but one of those crunchy/chewy cereal cookies..

    Skillet Cookies

    Dates are an ingredient, but they aren't recognizable in the melange. Do try it...

  9. I'll be certain to keep the dates a secret from S1-D3. Otherwise, none of them will deem these cookies worth tasting. Thanks for the recipe! I think I may have to bring that one camping with me this summer.

  10. Chaos by Kim.... Body by Sugar (almost any form of sugar will do... ice cream, cookies, cake, mmmm cheesecake, straight etc.)

    youngest sister Kim

  11. Dear Youngest Sister Kim,
    I never knew you took your sugar just like you take your men - straight.


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