Checkin’ Out DH

On Monday evenings we generally try to spend the evening as a family. Yesterday evening after dinner, I was temporarily delayed so S1-D3 proceeded downstairs with DH, who was in charge of family time. I joined them about ten minutes later, curious to see what DH had cooked up to entertain the children. Imagine my surprise, when upon entering the family room, all the eyes of my impressionable children were focused silently on the television, fully engrossed in World Series of Poker on ESPN. In case you are wondering what the big deal is, this was not at all what I would consider an appropriate family time activity. And DH knows that.

I quickly suspended the television power, and we redirected ourselves by playing Apples to Apples. If you are unfamiliar with this game, it is more family-oriented than poker as no gambling is involved. But more importantly, it can be played by anyone ages 7 to 70 without much adaptation (my favorite feature) and is over, as in start to finish, in about 15 minutes (DH’s favorite feature).

The game unfolds when, in an effort to secure the coveted green adjective cards, one red noun card is played per player, per round, in a hope that it will be chosen by whoever is “it” as the best match. At the end of the game, we each read the green adjective cards we accumulated, as they are supposed to provide insight into our personalities. DH won our game and as such had gathered five green cards. According to the game tradition, these cards indicated that DH was tall, skinny, hard, dangerous, and wonderful.

If you do not know DH personally, you may be wondering, if this accurately describes him, so let me help you out. Is DH tall? He is 6 foot 3 inches. Check. Skinny? In 1989 he used to weigh 185 pounds, so check. Hard? When we were dating he had bulging bicep muscles and a flat stomach, but now….Well, if hard-headed counts, then for sure, check. Is DH dangerous? He likes risk, which is why he drives fast, skis, scuba dives, and swims in rivers. All things a safe person like me disdains. Definitely check. And if you add all that up, somehow someone like me finds him to be completely wonderful, even though he watches poker with the children. So big check!

“A Verbal Contract Isn't Worth the Paper It's Written On” (Samuel Goldwyn)

This weekend D1 and Friend of D1 decided to play a game with S2 and Friend of S2. This is a game they have played before. It involves D1 and her friend owning and operating a business establishment, a.k.a. a restaurant, and S2 and his friend patronizing said restaurant. Sounds simple enough.

However, far too many times the game has run afoul. Allegedly, D1 and her friend have laboriously created a four-page printed and bound menu, set out the table cloth and candles, donned aprons and prepared gourmet omelets, only to have S2 and his accomplice, in an act of reckless abandonment, give up in hunger, grab a microwaved pizza, and in bad faith, without notice of cancellation, leave minutes before they were to be seated at Le Gamblet (the official name of the swanky French bistro that occasionally occupies my Orem, Utah kitchen).

When called upon to judge, I am forced to recuse myself due to personal conflicts (namely being parent to both defendant and accuser). When pressed for a verdict, I must side with the defendants as case law has shown that without a contract, the girls have no recourse to recover damages. And so, too often, the boys exit freely without being found legally liable for any wrong doing.

It was S2 and his friend’s idea to play the game this time. But D1 and her sidekick were cautious. So, they presented the boys with The Contract which was to ensure completion of the game, referred to hereafter as “FOLLOW THE RULES!!!!!!!” and a form of payment, referred to hereafter as “the Keychain”. Here it is, in its entirety, exactly as I found it Sunday afternoon:

CONTRACT
We agree to play a game with you that involves a restaurant. You can do whatever you want but Friend of S2 must give Friend of D1 the Keychain.


___________________ ____________________
Sign Here

Now D1 and her friend, as I mentioned, have been through this before and in addition to The Contract, also presented the boys with an addendum. It is as follows:

ADDENDUM
Now play talk will be involved. No laughing for any weird reason. FOLLOW THE RULES!!!!!!!


__________ _________
Initial Here

Surprisingly, both parties signed and initialed The Contract without seeking representation.

Happily, upon execution of The Contract neither party was found to be in breach of said contract at any time. The girls put on a fabulous meal, and the boys enjoyed their cheesy bacon omelets so much they even left a fifty-cent tip, along with said keychain.

Whether or not the girls will choose to adopt a set of bylaws for Le Gamblet and its future participants, is yet to be determined. However, if they don’t make it in the restaurant business, I’m confident they would do well to opt for law school.