Sing, Sing a Song Part Two

Vacations at Grandma and Grandpa's house in California were a life of luxury!

My sisters and I would use the nutrition facts on the side of the cold cereal box and carefully calculate to make sure we ate enough bowls of the munchy, crunchy, milk soaked grains to equal 100% of all our daily vitamins and minerals. We would not leave the breakfast table until we all completed the goal. There was no reason to load up as such at the morning meal, we just did it because of our love for the frosty flakes and because Grandma didn't care at all.

Then we would leave our grandparent's large, spacious, air-conditioned, custom home to sit in the RV parked on the RV pad. There we would sit for hours playing Uno and eating Pringles. And once again, we were shocked, because Grandma didn't care one bit! You'd think she or Mom would miss us, being out there all day, away from their side, but they seemed to handle our absence surprisingly well.

Sadly, vacations don't last forever. And it is a scientifically proven fact that while traveling to California in the rear of a station wagon takes forever and a day, traveling back home to Iowa takes even longer.

But not to disappoint anyone, on the way home, my sisters and I would create even more original numbers. This was an all-time favorite:

Oh, I wouldn't live up North it's way too cold,
Wouldn't live down South it's way too hot,
Wouldn't live our East it's just not right,
Wouldn't live out West it's not my type.
So I'll just stick in the middle of the U. S.,
Just stick in the middle of the U. S.,
All ---- My ---- Life because
I wouldn't live up north it's way too cold...

{Repeat until you hyperventilate}

I really wish I could sing these for you all, but come to our next family reunion and my siblings and I will gladly perform them in person.

Sing, Sing a Song, Make it Simple To Last Your Whole Life Long Part One

Vacations provide families with fond memories, photo album pictures, and souvenirs. My friends' parents would take them skiing at resorts in Colorado, or swimming along the sandy beaches of Florida, or even sight seeing across Europe. Their vacations always involved powdery snow in the mountains, or palm trees and hammocks by the ocean, or world famous museums and landmarks. My vacations were just as thrilling since my parents took me to a relative's house where I didn't have to do gardening chores for an entire week.

My parents did not believe in hotels. Ever. Which is why our vacations always involved a close relative. Or a distant relative. Or close friend of the family. Or a not-so-close friend of the family. Or friend of a friend of the family.

Since hotels were out of the question, instead of stopping to rest along the way, my parents would drive 30 hours straight across the United States until they reached our destination. One parent slept while the other drove. Every four to six hours they would trade off. In this manner we left Iowa to drive across Nebraska, then Wyoming, then Utah, then Nevada...

In order to pass the monotonous stretch, my sisters and I sat in the back of the station wagon singing songs. After countless hours of singing every song we knew numerous times, we would eventually make up songs. One such original ditty went as follows (complete with actions):

Oh, I'm broken up to here, (put your hand on your forehead)

I fell apart last year, (droop your head and shoulders)

I'm so mad, (look angry)

The people are so glad, (smile broadly)

'cause I'm broken up to here, (put your hand on your forehead)

I fell apart last year, (droop your head and shoulders)

I'm so mad, (look angry)

The people are so glad, (smile broadly)

'cause I'm broken up to here... (put your hand on your forehead)

And so it continued. For eternity. Or at least until we reached Grandma and Grandpa's house in California.